About The Boy

(Charlie with Matt's dad on a recent hike)

Charlie is growing up so fast.  I mean, look at this picture.  Does that look like a toddler?  No, that looks like a little boy, and I can hardly stand it.  He is learning and changing so much everyday that I thought I should take a minute to record some things about him right now before I forget.

Even though Charlie is in the throws of the terrible two's, he is also a super fun age right now.  He is at the stage where he is learning everything and soaking it all up like a little sponge.  His funny little personality has erupted, and he cracks me up all the time.  I can say with certainty that he has the spunk and fire to match his red hair.  Here are some notes for my own memory.

-Our Charlie boy is a talker.  He talks all the live long day.  He asks a lot of questions, and genuinely wants to know the answers to them.

-He is painfully shy in new places and around new people.  We have been to story time at the library SO many times, but he can still barely bring himself to get off my lap and sit on the story rug.

-This summer he transitioned out of his crib and into a big bed.  It was relatively painless.  He still even takes a nap most days! (hallelujah)

-Charlie loves music and dancing.  He knows a lot of words to The Avett Brothers, and loves to sing along while we are in the car.  He can also sing his ABC's, twinkle little star, you are my sunshine, the itsy bitsy spider, and many of the songs from Frozen and Tangled.

-He has a vibrant imagination!  He can turn anything into a toy.  He loves pretend play, and will frequently pretend to be a super hero, fireman, ballerina, mountain climber, and a daddy.

-He loves reading books with us.  Sometimes Matt will stay in his room for 30 minutes at bedtime, just reading book after book.

-We have tried one stint of potty training, but it was a no go.  It became a power struggle about getting treats.  So we backed off, and will try again when he seems more ready.  In case you were wondering...I am SO ready.

-Charlie is the pickiest of picky eaters.  It drives me crazy.  He could stand to gain a little weight.  But on top of being super picky....he is SUPER stubborn.  It's a bad combination.

-Charlie has a very compassionate soul.  He looks out for his sister.  He sticks up for her when we get frustrated or lose patience.  He tells me what she needs, and misses her when she is away.  It brings me so much joy to watch him learn about his sister, and understand her in ways that I don't.  He has a special heart, and I know it will serve him well all his life.

-Charlie can identify all of his letters, and numbers up to ten.  He can count to twenty, and knows most shapes and colors.  In terms of learning, I think he will be more than ready for preschool.  In terms of separation...not so much.:-)

-He is a snuggle bug.  He wants to hug and kiss and snuggle all the time.  During the day he will frequently come to me, squeeze my leg or my head and say "I just yuv you, Mommy."  Its the best thing ever.

He is my little buddy, and a bright light in our lives.

Things I Love About Spring



(Finally got my new laptop! Hooray!)

-Opening the windows in the house, and airing out the winter "funk"

-Daffodils and Tulips

-Needing a jacket in the morning, but being able to wear flip flops in the afternoon.

-Packing up the winter coats and boots

-The blossoms on our pear trees

-Rain

-Mowing the lawn for the first time.

-Pulling out the bikes

-Making landscaping plans

-The birds.  Oh the birds and their tweeting.  Charlie is in love with birds, and will stare out the back door all morning saying "Birdies, Mommy!  Tweet tweet tweet!"

-The return of the ducks to the neighborhood canal.

-Pulling out the patio furniture and umbrella, and eating lunch outside.

This Is Happening Right Now...

It's driving me nuts right now...but hopefully this will make it so our whole yard will be green this summer, instead of just the outer edges. :-) 

I am so thankful that Matt is so handy, and that his Dad is so helpful. I'm thankful for the things my kids will learn by watching big projects like this.

But I do solemnly swear that our next house will not be a fixer-upper!!!!!!!!

Bring It On, 30

 I started a gratitude journal about a week ago.  I love it.  I have written in it everyday since I got it.  Sometimes I write a list of things I'm thankful for.  Sometimes I write a story about something great that happened that day.  It helps me to end each day and see beauty, success, and progress...in place of what I normally see at the end of each day, which is usually a mixture of frustration, exhaustion, and inadequacy.

But even though I am focusing more on the positive things in my life, I'm still struggling to find things about myself that I am grateful for.  Yes, I am blessed.  So.Very.Blessed.  A stellar relationship with my husband, two awesome kids, all the material things, fanstastic extened family, etc. etc.  So grateful.

But I still sit in the bath tub, and silently berate myself for all the unfinished projects.  The 20 lbs I'm too lazy to lose.  The times I raised my voice, or complained, or left the clean clothes in the dryer for days instead of putting them away.

And I'm starting to think to myself...hey!  Stop it already!  I'm turning 30 in a couple of weeks.  And I am done with being mad at myself.  DONE.  I want 30 to be a year of love.  A year of recognizing God's love for me.  And for showing myself that I am worth loving.

I am worth loving, because I would move heaven and earth for my children.  And some days it feels like that is exactly what I'm doing.

I am worth loving because I am a free thinker.  Because I like to learn, and challenge my beliefs, and form opinions.  And because passion is what drives me.  And that's a good thing.

I am worth loving, because even thought I didn't put away the laundry...I washed it.  And even though I didn't empty the dishwasher...I loaded it.  And maybe I didn't clean up after dinner...but I made it.  And it was good!

I am worth loving just as much now as I was 20 lbs ago.  Because my smile is the same, my laugh is the same, and my heart is the same.  My curly red hair still rocks.  My body can make and nurse babies, can still love my husband, and can still climb a mountain.

Yeah.

Bring it on, 30.  Me and my red hair are gonna kick your ass.

More Gratitude Give Me

The gratitude continues.

I am thankful that when we need food, I can get in my car, drive five minutes, load a cart up with food, swipe a plastic card, and fill my refrigerator and pantry.  We are so so blessed.

I am enormously thankful for Aubrey's good nature.  Can she be naughty?  Yes.  Does she try my patience?  Everyday.  But Aubrey's greatest personality trait is one of happiness.  She lives to love.  She loves her brother.  She loves her dog.  And she loves Matt and I.  She is happy at school, she is happy at church, she is happy pretty much everywhere.  People notice, and everywhere we go she makes someone fall in love with her.

I am thankful for good health.  Knock on wood!

I am thankful for music.  Music has always been an important tool in my life.  And I find that music can always enhance a moment, feeling, emotion, experience.  I turn it on at lunch time when the kids are in a mood.  I turn it on when I take a bath, to help me relax.  I turn it on to dance, exercise, or be silly.  There isn't much that a good song can't help, is what I say.  Try this.  Or this.  This is our family theme song.  You're welcome. :)

I am thankful for my husband.  Matt is my rock.  Oh, he takes good care of me.  Of all of us.  I've never known anyone who works so hard and complains so little.  I will never stop being grateful that he is mine.

Now a few sillies...

Dry shampoo
Ice cream
Modern Family
Fresh pineapple
Harry Potter
My Phone
Swings
Birds
Guacamole
Downton Abbey
Tylenol
Horses
Super Why
Willow Trees

See you tomorrow!

A Heart Full of Thanks

This week I am trying to focus on the good and beautiful in my life.  It feels great.

I am oh so thankful that Aubrey sleeps well and a lot.  She always has.  I never fully appreciated this until Charlie came along.

I am thankful to have had a 5 month break from a church calling.  It was just what I needed, at the time I needed it the most.  And my new calling is EXACTLY what I need at this point in my life as well.  Perfect timing...it doesn't happen often, but when it does, oh boy.

Our new home, what a joy!  It feels so good here.  And the work that we have put into it makes it feel even more like home.  The storage, the layout, the yard...we needed it so bad, and now we have it, and I am thankful.  Plus, my bathtub makes me feel like a queen.

My Jilly.  Some friends are forever, and she is one for sure.  My girl has stuck with me.  We were only neighbors for a short time, but it was just long enough to form a friendship that has been a huge blessing in my life.  I am thankful for the laughs, the texts, the play dates and girl nights.  I'm thankful to have someone to share motherhood war stories with.  

I am thankful for my brother, Matt.  He makes me laugh, he is a fantastic listener, and he helps me feel brave.  I am proud of him, inspired by him, and jealous of his domestic skills (smiley face).  I am thankful he found his home in Seattle.  Even though it's far...visiting him gives me something to look forward to!

The mountains.  When Autumn comes I think they could not be more beautiful, and then the first snow of the season proves me wrong.  I am thankful for the escape they provide from the city noise, and inversion.  I think I should go skiing with Matt this year, don't you?

My Charlie boy.  He is so smart, it blows me away.  He mimicks everything we do.  Every sound, every gesture, everything.  You cannot imagine what joy it is to watch him learn so easily.  So maybe he has my temper, and my red hair to match.  He also has my heart.

This was fun!  Let's do it again tomorrow...same time same place:)

Name Them One By One

I imagine that I will experience this feeling many times over the coming years.  And maybe someday it won't impact me as much as it does now.  But right now?  It feels kind of incredible.

You see...Charlie is starting to get around.  He is in the early stages of crawling.  It just happened.  Today!  Pushing up on those hands, and toes.  Sometimes up on his knees.  And scooting himself.  Sometimes backwards, and sometimes forward.  Always toward something he wants to reach and put into his mouth.  I think it's called army crawling.

I know, I know.  It's what babies do.  Big deal, right?  Well, yeah.  It's huge.  It's a miracle.  And I tell you what, when I watched Charlie push up on his hands and knees and scoot himself across a blanket to reach a toy today, tears sprung to my eyes.  And I thanked God for allowing me to witness something so special.

Because we've never experienced something like this before.  Something so effortless and natural.  Gross motor development that didn't require months/years of physical therapy, prayers, tears, and fears.  It just...happened.

I remember when we were in the throws of Aubrey's physical therapy.  She wasn't walking yet.  Things were very hard.  One Sunday when we were at dinner with Matt's family, Matt and I stood together in the back yard and watched Aubrey's cousin (who is three months younger than her) hold on to the sides of a slide and walk up it.  And we both just looked at each other and shook our heads in amazement.  Astonished at the feat he had just accomplished.  At that moment, I knew that I would never look at another "typically developing" child again, without totally understanding the miracle of such a thing.

So today when Charlie scooted around on the floor I called Matt, and we celebrated.  Everything that Aubrey has accomplished is incredible because of everything that she has to fight against to accomplish it.  And everything that Charlie is accomplishing is incredible because the ease with which it is accomplished is truly a blessing.

Either way you look at it, these two kids are incredible.  Today we count our blessings.

Charlie's Birth

I am writing this account of Charlie's birth solely for the purpose of keeping a personal record.  I realize it may be a boring (and LONG) read for some...but for me it was one of the most special days of my life, and I don't want to forget a single second of it.

At my final doctors appointment, our baby was still in a breech position.  Head up, feet up, and bum down...folded up like a little taco.  So it was decided that we would move ahead with a scheduled c-section.  Despite all my planning and hoping for a natural v-bac, I was really quite peaceful about the decision.  It felt right, so I spent very little time fretting over "what could have been".  I am so thankful now that I was able to go into my birth experience with feelings of contentment, when it would have been so easy to start out feeling disappointed or sad.

My c-section was scheduled for 7:30 in the morning, so we had to be at the hospital at 5:30 am.  It was so surreal driving through the dark streets with Matt, so early in the morning, knowing that in just a few short hours we would be meeting our son.  I had butterflies in my tummy during the whole car ride.

We got to the hospital, checked in, and got settled in our room.  The next 2 hours are a bit of a blur.  I know they started my I.V. and monitored the baby's heart rate and my contractions for a while.  Even though I knew I was having a c-section, I still wrote a c-section specific birth plan.  I am so glad that I did.  I was able to go through the birth plan with my nurses, the baby's nurses, the anesthesiologist, and my o.b.  They all answered my questions, and asked their own questions...so that everything in my birth plan would be clarified before the c-section took place.  It was so nice to know that we were all on the same page, and that the people helping us that day were committed to helping me have a positive birth experience.

When it was time, I walked myself to the operating room.  Matt was dressed in his white surgical attire, and he came right in to the room with me.  They sat me on the table, and had me lean over with my arms around Matt's neck (he was sitting right in front of me), while the anesthesiologist gave me the spinal.  It may sound silly, but this was a really sweet moment between Matt and I.  I buried my face in his neck and whispered that I was scared.  He held me tight, and told me that everything would be fine.  He reminded me to breathe, and told me that he loved me.  He kept telling me that Charlie would be here soon.

The spinal started working immediately, and I couldn't even get my legs up on the table myself when it was time to lay down.  When they laid me down and put up the curtain, I realized that I had forgotten my music.  So Matt asked if he could run back to the room really quick and get my phone so I could listen to music during the procedure.  While he was gone I started feeling really nauseous.  (As a side note, I threw up during my c-section with Aubrey...and it was so miserable).  I told the anesthesiologist how I was feeling, and he put some magic potion in my i.v. that made me feel better right away!  Matt came back with my phone, turned on the music, and laid it by my head so I could hear.  This was the first song that came on, then this, and then of course, some of this.

Once they began everything went really fast.  While I listened to the music, Matt rubbed my face with his hand, and kissed my cheek.  He kept asking me how I was doing.  Then the doctor told Matt to get the camera ready, because he would be out really soon.  She also told us that he had turned at some point because he was head down, but that he also had the cord wrapped around his neck twice.  She held him up over the curtain so I could get a good look at him.  He was so cute!  And I distinctly remember thinking..."Wow!  There really was a baby in there!"

They brought him over to the little warming bed, which was right next to me...so I got to see everything.  Matt went over and was taking pictures.  Charlie was crying like crazy, which was a real relief for me.  I loved hearing his powerful little cries.  But he was really blue, and they kept him over there for a little longer than I had hoped because he needed a little bit of oxygen to help him pink up.  But as per my request, they wrapped him up and let Matt bring him over to me before they weighed and measured him or gave him any eye ointment.

Matt held him up to my face, and I kissed him, and put my hands on him, and let him hear my voice.  I told him I loved him, and how we had waited so long for him to get here, and how happy I was that he was finally here.  Matt and Charlie stayed with me the entire time while they were closing me up.  Finally they took him over to weigh and measure.  9 lbs 12 oz, 20.5 inches.  Big baby, but not as big as Aubrey!

Then, they got me onto the regular hospital bed, put Charlie in my arms, and wheeled us both to the recovery room.  And he didn't leave my side again.  This was a huge difference between his birth and Aubrey's birth.  When Aubrey was born, I had to wait a good hour alone in the recovery room before she was brought to me.  With Charlie,  I was able to hold him skin to skin right away and try nursing him for the first time right when we got to the recovery room.

While this was not the birth story I always envisioned writing, it was still an absolutely beautiful experience worth remembering.  I should note that even though he had turned before he was born, I still feel very peaceful about the way he was born.  After my doctor told me that he had been head down, I never once felt betrayed or bitter.  I still felt like he was born the way that he needed to be born, and I was just infinitely grateful that he got here safely.  And I sincerely believe that these feelings are a gift from my Heavenly Father, who reminds me that all things happen for a reason.

And so, here I sit with a new baby boy, wrapped up like a little burrito and sleeping in a bassinet just a few feet away.  I have a son!  He is beautiful, and angelic.  He nurses like a champ (although it took a few days to get it right), he smells like heaven, and he looks like me.  His sister worships him, his Daddy adores him, and he makes everything in our home feel more special.

Introducing

Charles Avett

a.k.a Charlie

(photo by Matthew Armstrong)

Born just after Christmas, weighing 9 lbs 12 oz, 20.5 inches

More pictures and details coming very soon!  But for now I will say that we are home, and everyone is doing very well.  Charlie is a little piece of heaven on earth!  Our hearts and our home are full, and our cup runneth over.

An Update and Gratitude

Matt is at the BYU football game with his brother, Aubrey is fast asleep, Stella is snoring loudly in the corner, and baby brother is kicking so hard that it hurts.  What better time than this to sit down and blog, right?

Except when I started to think about what I could possibly write about the last two weeks, the only word I could come up with was "puke".  And who wants to read a blog post about that?  Not you!  Not even me!

Well, the last time I wrote, I chronicled the nasty stomach bug that made it's way through our house.  But it turns out that it never really went away.  Everything cleared up for Matt and I, thank goodness, but Aubrey was sick on and off for 17 days.  17 DAYS, Y'ALL!  Oh man, it has been rough.  It will last for a day or two, and then she will be completely fine for 3 or 4 days, and then all of a sudden...BAM.  Back again with a vengeance.  She even went for a stretch of 6 days where she was completely fine, went to school, etc.  Then it came back.  Again.  And I cried a lot.

Because, having a child with the stomach flu is super hard.  Having a completely non-verbal child with the stomach flu...while 8 months pregnant?  WAY HARDER!  And poor, poor Aubrey.  She has been through the ringer!  She missed her last two horse back riding lessons, has lost a lot of weight, and has spent way too much time drinking pedialyte in front of the t.v.  Not to mention that she could never tell us exactly how she was feeling.  We did finally take her to the doctor, because my mother heart kept telling me that something else had to be going on.  They've run some tests, but nothing has come back yet.  She hasn't been sick for a few days though, and we have made some serious restrictions to her diet for the time being, and started her on some pro-biotics.  So hopefully, it is over.

Please.  Please let it be over.

So, my grand plans to get all my Christmas shopping done by Thanksgiving so I could spend the rest of December getting ready for the baby?  Ha!  So funny.

So to combat the totally crap-tastic month that November has been, and the equally crap-tastic mood I've been in, I thought I should make a gratitude list.  You know, since it's almost Thanksgiving and all.  Here goes.

I am Thankful for:
-Matt and his willingness to help whenever and however he can.  He is the best man I know.
-My mom who calls and checks on us everyday, and let's me bawl my guts out on numerous occasions, even though she has serious stress of her own.
-Matt's Mom and Dad, who watched Aubrey so we could go on a date last night.  Man, we needed that.
-Aubrey's sweet disposition, despite her challenges and illness.
-Stella.  She is such a good girl, and so much a part of our family that I can't remember what life was like without her.
-Baby brother.  Despite all the hard things we've been going through lately, he is a constant source of joy to me.  I feel him kick and squirm and move all day long, and I never forget what a blessing he is.  We are SO excited for his arrival!
-A warm comfortable home, and reliable cars.
-Good Health Insurance!
-My washer and dryer.  I've used them so much lately that I'm surprised the Salt Lake valley hasn't sun out of water.
-Kind and thoughtful text messages from friends and neighbors.
-The beautiful snow we got last night.  It was so magical.
-Matt's sexy beard.
-My big bath tub, and hypnobirthing tracks.  Who knows if it will be helpful while I'm in labor...but it sure does help me relax now!
-Netflix and their endless supply of Sesame Street and Super Why episodes.
-Matt's nightly foot massages.  Did I mention that I don't know a better man?

Well, I feel better already.  There really is so so much to be thankful for.  And hopefully (knock on wood, cross your fingers, and pray like crazy) the sickness will be over for good, and we can get on with enjoying the holiday season and getting ready for this baby.  Have a happy Thanksgiving!

Why I Love My Husband #2,371

 

The stomach flu made it's way to our house this week.

It started with Aubrey.  Matt went to check on her Tuesday morning before he left for work, and discovered that she had thrown up in her bed.  So he got me up, and I took all the bedding off of her bed while he got her in the shower.  Then he decided that he would stay home from work to help me with her during the day.  He was busy, but did a lot of work from home that day.  And whenever my fetal girth made a job like showering with Aubrey or making her bed difficult, he stepped right in and took over.  It was a huge help.

Well, despite my mad efforts at sanitizing and my constant demands to "wash your hands!", I woke up at 3:00am on Friday morning with what I can only describe as a violent case of the pukes.  I'm talking full body heaving, at 31 weeks pregnant.  Which should totally be against the rules of the universe.  What commenced was the absolute worst stomach flu I have ever experienced in my entire life.  And I'm not exaggerating.

So, yet again my husband called in to work, and stayed home to take care of me and Aubrey (who was all better at that point, but still needed parental supervision...which I was totally incapable of giving).  He went to the store and bought me Sprite, Coke, Gatorade, popsicles, and jello.  He rubbed my feet and legs with coconut oil.  He ran me a bath.  He gave me a blessing.  When I became to weak to walk to the bathroom each time I was sick, he brought me a "barf bucket", and then cleaned it out for me every time I needed him to.  He urged me to drink, drink, drink.  When it became abundantly clear that I was not going to keep anything down, he went and picked up an anti-nausea prescription that my doctor called in for me.  When I begged him to "put me out of my misery" and "just put a bullet in my head", he said "why don't we just wait for another 15 hours before we consider that too seriously...ok, Honey?"  Now, that's true love!

And all the while, he took Aubrey to her horse back riding lesson, fed her 3 meals and several snacks, dressed her, did her hair (sort of ;), did all of her potty visits, AND took a bunch of calls for work, and did some work from home on his laptop.

The anti-nausea medication started working last night, and I am feeling much better today...just quite weak, sore, and tired.  Matt had to leave and do some work for his Dad today, so he dropped Aubrey off at his parents house so I could have more time to rest and recover.  And during this quiet time that I've had to myself, I have really been able to reflect on the last 24 hours...and despite the HORRIBLE experience it was, I can only feel so grateful to have such a good man in my life.  I am so thankful for his willingness to help, his kindness, and his gentleness.

And even though I hope and pray that he doesn't get it next...if he does, I will gladly return the favor.

About Aubrey

 Good things are going on in Aubrey's little world these days.  A lot of little things that add up to big time happiness for us all.  She is right in the middle of a huge learning phase.  We have learned over the years that Aubrey seems to progress in spurts.  She will go for a really long time and not really make any progress in any area of development, and totally fight us and anyone else that is trying to teach her things.  Then, all of a sudden, BAM.  She decides she is ready, and she starts doing a bunch of new things all at once.  This little girl is definitely on her own schedule.  But even her teachers and therapists at school have commented on how hard she is working right now.  It's a very encouraging time!

First:  Aubrey knows the entire alphabet, and can identify all the letters when asked.  She points to letters everywhere.  On signs, in books, on food labels, magazines, clothing, etc.  She is really interested in letters, and she really wants us to know that she knows them.

Second:  Aubrey's horse back riding lessons have been amazing lately.  She is working so hard at communicating with her helpers, and with her horse.  She has totally mastered signing "stop" and "go".  Her balance is amazing, she adjusts herself on the horse without being asked, and she completes every task she is asked to do without any complaint.  They have even started letting her trot every once in a while, and even though her low muscle tone makes her somewhat floppy...she holds on tight to her reigns and handles it very well.

Third:  In the last 2 weeks Aubrey has started babbling.  You guys, I don't think you even realize what a huge deal this is.  Aubrey has NEVER babbled.  Not even as a baby.  Sure, she makes expressive oooh and aaah sounds, and there was a period of time when we could coax a rare "ba ba" out of her...but consistent babbling with consonants?  Never.  Never!  And then one day a few weeks ago she woke up and was like "da da da dee dee dooo dooo da da deee deee" ALL DAY LONG.  And I was like "WHAT?  When did you start doing that?"  And now every day, all day long (literally from the moment she wakes up until she goes to bed at night" she walks around the house going "doo da dee da doo dee dee da".  And I know...I KNOW she is talking to me.  She looks me in the eye and she makes these sounds and I know she is telling me things.  She will point at something, then look up and me and babble, and then wait for me to tell her about what she is pointing at.  She babbles at the t.v.  She babbles at Stella.  She babbles to Matt when he walks in the door after work.  She babbles while I read her books or sing her songs at bedtime.  It is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.  And it gives us so much hope!  Hope that someday those babbles will turn into a "Mommy" and a "Daddy".  I pray that she keeps going.  That she never stops.  And I swear, that as long as she is trying to communicate with us, I will never tell her to be quiet or to hush.  I will let her interrupt every conversation I have for the rest of my life if it means I can hear what she needs to tell me.  We have gone for 4 1/2 years with a silent (sometimes whining) child.  We have dealt with the fear that she may never speak.  And now we can hear her voice in ways that we never have before.  And we cannot wait to see where she can go from here.

One thing is for sure.  Aubrey can never be underestimated.  She is capable of so much more than we know!  And when she is ready, she will blossom and bloom, and the sweetness of her spirit and the light in her soul will be expressed in ways that we only ever hoped for.  Just wait and see.

Happy

I have been feeling so incredibly blessed lately.  A profound sense of gratitude has settled over me, and lingered over the past few weeks.  Like a constant warmth around my heart...it doesn't always require my attention, but I can always feel that it's there.  And it is solely because of these people.  (Including baby brother...who is already a constant source of joy in my life)

Nature Walk

Matt also had the day off on Monday.  It is always such a treat to have him around on weekdays.  He got to help me send Aubrey off to school, and then he and I took a nice long walk around the neighborhood lake.  It felt so luxurious to spend time alone with him during the day, without any interruptions.  We walked, and talked, and held hands...and tried to soak up that precious alone time.  At one point during our walk, Matt said "I should just quite my job.  Then we could do things like this every day!"  It's a silly thought, but I sure am glad he enjoys my company enough to say something like that.

After our walk Matt stayed home and waited for Aubrey's bus to drop her off while I went grocery shopping.  When I got home and we put everything away, we decided to go spend some more time out in the mountains.  It was just such a gorgeous day, we couldn't waste any time indoors.  So we drove up Little Cotton Wood Canyon (?) to Silver Lake.  It is a big beautiful mountain lake with a boardwalk all around it.  The drive up the canyon was GORGEOUS, and the scenery around the lake was just as spectacular.  Aubrey had a fantastic time exploring, putting her hands in the water, picking up pine cones and giving them to us, and looking at wildlife.  We saw ducks, fish, squirrels, chipmunks, and one really big moose.

Once we walked around the lake, and Aubs was thoroughly tuckered, we headed back down the canyon and stopped at Pistol Pete's for their famously delicious fish tacos.  We we got home Aubrey went right to bed.  It was such a perfect day.

Autumn Equinox Celebration 2011

Last year on a whim, we decided to go up American Fork Canyon on the first day of fall for dinner and exploring.  Matt had gotten home early from work, so I packed a few sandwiches, chips, and drinks...and off we went.  I recall it being one of the best days ever.  So we decided to start a family tradition of spending the first day of Fall (the Autumnal Equinox) in the mountains together every year.  Yesterday was the first day of Fall, and we have a marvelous time together.  The leaves up American Fork canyon are already changing.  There are bright red and yellow patches all over the mountain, but it will only get better in the next week or two...so don't miss it!  We will definitely be going up again.

This year we had a bit more time to plan, so we got wood for a fire (it's cold up there!), brought some camp chairs, and yummy food.  It turns out that hot dogs really taste divine when they've been cooked over a fire, Aubrey is a huge fan of s'mores, and Stella likes the mountains too.  Matt really wished that we were camping over night, but seeing as how my pregnant self has a hard enough time sleeping in a comfortable bed...I think we made the right choice.  Maybe next year!

Everything was lovely, except that Matt forgot his jacket.  But we brought a blanket, and he wrapped up in that and stayed close to the fire.  We talked to Aubs a bit about the seasons and how they change.  We told her all the reasons we love fall so much.  I think she loves it too.  And we are really looking forward to keeping this tradition alive through the years.  It's such a wonderful opportunity to be thankful for our beautiful world!

Aubrey and Horses

 Miss Aubrey just completed her first session of therapeutic horse back riding, and we a so very proud of her.  She had 12 lessons, and made huge progress from the first lesson to the last.  When we first made the decision to pursue this for Aubrey, we weren't expecting any miraculous outcomes.  We didn't think that after 12 weeks she would be speaking in sentences or riding independently.  We chose to do this so that she could have the experience of it.  We wanted her to have the opportunity to participate in something special that she could enjoy and that would make positive memories for her.  Any other skills she might gain from it would be considered a bonus.

Well, we were not disappointed.  This has turned out to be such a wonderful experience for our Aubs.  In the beginning she had a lot of anxiety about it.  In the end she would squeal and giggle with delight the instant we pulled up to the barn.  And she always found comfort in her horse, Torgan.  By the end it was so sweet to see the way she loved on him.  Whenever she was being asked to work or do something hard, or something that made her uncomfortable, she would reach forward and pet her horse's mane.  It made her feel better.

We may never know the specific benefits that Aubrey will receive because of these lessons, but I like to believe that she has gained confidence in herself, that she is learning how to trust others, and most importantly she is learning how to work through challenging things.  I would like to think that this experience made her feel special.  Because she is so so special.

I also have to mention the wonderful people who work at Courage Reins...most of whom are volunteers.  They have been such a treat to work with, and clearly care about the work they do.  And as a mother, I find great comfort in adding caring people to our "team".  And that is why we have signed up for another session this fall.

Smiles like that are why we will keep going back.

Horse Therapy

Aubrey had her first official horse therapy lesson on Saturday, and it was so cool.  We're so thankful that we are able to do this for her.  When we first got there she was definitely stressed, and scared.  And she was not happy about having to wear that helmet.  But once she got on that horse, she had the best time!  They do some really cool things with these kids, and the horses.  They make the kids either speak or sign "stop" and "go" to make the horse move or stop.  They have them perform different tasks while on the horse.  They get to go fast (a quick walk) or slow, and they get to feed the horse and interact with the horse when they are done.  So not only does Aubrey get to have the fun experience of riding a horse...but she is also being engaged verbally, physically, and socially all at the same time.  We believe that this is going to turn out to be a really fun, and beneficial opportunity for Aubrey.  We just love the people at Courage Reins in Highland, and we hope to keep this up for a long time!

 They have one of the parents walk with them in the beginning so they can get used to the new people slowly.

 Here they are coaxing Aubrey to sign "go"

 Blurry pictures...

We are so proud of Aubrey for being brave and trying a new thing, and we can't wait to see how her skills improve over time.  Oh, and isn't her horse Targon pretty?

Sun Beam

Not much to say really, other than life sure has been tough for me lately.  But this little girl has been making me smile like crazy.  She is my little ray of sunshine on the dark days.  She has been so good lately.  Cooperative, obedient, and funny as all get out.  She makes me happy.

Attitude of Gratitude

The past few weeks have been challenging for me.  Quite challenging.  For several different reasons that I won't get into right now.  But in different conversations at different times this week, both my mother and my mother in law suggested, in their own way, a need to focus on the good things in life.  And then today in church, what was our lesson about in R.S.?  Gratitude, of course!  So this is me, throwing up my hands to the universe, and saying..."Ok!  I get it!  I need to be more grateful!"  This is me, trying.

I am thankful to be a mother.  Motherhood has not turned out the way I always envisioned it.  It is about 1 billion times harder than I ever thought it would be.  But in many ways it is also 1 billion times better than I thought it would be.  My capacity to love has stretched farther than I ever thought was possible, and I am thankful everyday that Aubrey is mine.

I am thankful for Matt.  I know I sing his praises a lot here on this little blog of mine, but that is only because he is (and always will be) the most important person in my life.  He is my daily reminder that dreams really do come true, and I just love him a whole big bunch!

I am so thankful that we live close to our parents, and Matt's siblings.  (I would love to live close to my siblings too...but I guess that would just make things TOO perfect:)  The relationships that we have with our parents and siblings is just so precious.  Sunday dinners, card games, long talks, visits to the lake, Holiday traditions...all of these small things add up to tremendous blessings.  And I cannot envision life any other way.

I am VERY thankful to have a handful of close girlfriends.  I never knew how important these relationships would be until I became I stay at home mom.  But how awesome is it to have girlfriends to talk to, have girl's nights with, to laugh with, and to help break up the day when you think you might lose your mind?  P.S.  Is it about time for a movie night, or what?

I am thankful for our physical comforts.  We are not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination.  But we own our own home (well, we are the owners of a mortgage), we have two great and reliable cars, we eat well, we have some fun, and we have some money in the bank.  We don't worry about how we are going to pay our bills, and debt does not keep us up at night.  I would say that makes us pretty darn blessed.  Especially in today's economy.

I am thankful to be me.  I am glad that I have an education.  I am glad that I love to read, and write.  I am glad to be healthy.  I am glad to have a body that let's me work.  I am thankful for my ability to think, and express myself.  And I am thankful for the talents that I have been given.  I think I am a good friend, and a good wife, and a good mother.  And even though I know I could do better at all of those things, I know I work hard at them every day.

That's a start.

So They Think They Can Dance

I would like to interrupt this regularly scheduled blogging break to say just how sad Aubrey and I will be when Matt goes back to work on Wednesday.

That is all.