Whining and Formspring #2

Shoot.  I think this is the longest I have gone between posts.  Probably the two biggest reasons I haven't been posting are that we have been quite busy, and I have also been feeling like complete crap.  And I didn't really feel like writing about how crappy I feel, because no one likes a whiner.  But the truth is that taking Clomid has been a lot harder on me than I was expecting.  So I basically have not felt well for a really long time.  I have had just about every side effect under the sun, and today I nearly drove myself to the emergency room because I was in such awful pain.  And I am just going to say right now, that if this doesn't work someone is going to have hell to pay.  *end of rant*

So in an effort to write anything something...here is another formspring question.  This one ended up being a little longer than I was planning on.  But next time I will try to knock out a few questions in one post.

What are your top 3 fears?

Well, of course my greatest fears involve losing my family.  But those are everyone's greatest fears, so they don't count.  Aside from those, I think I would have to go with these three.

-The Dark
-Car accidents
-Spiders/rodents

I am afraid of the dark, and that is the honest truth.  To tell the truth, I blame my dad and my brothers for this.  When I was growing up it was a common occurance for my dad to go upstairs and hide somewhere while we were getting ready for bed...and then as soon as the lights went out he would jump out and scare us.  My brothers were just as bad.  And being that I am the youngest, and only girl...I often fell victim to their scares.  It was all fun and games back then, but I think my psyche never fully recovered, because to this day when the lights go out I fully expect something or someone to jump out and get me.  Sometimes Matt thinks it's funny to turn out all the lights downstairs when we are heading up to bed, and then make scary noises and start chasing me...and it usually ends with me getting violent because I just can't handle it:)  He had to learn the hard way!  Oh, and if I am ever walking home from the gym or a friends house in the dark I am constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure a bad guy isn't gonna get me.  And when Matt is out of town I sleep with the lights on.  cause I'm a freak.

Car accidents are something that I've only grown fearful of since I was in my first one.  When I was about 14 weeks pregnant with Aubrey I was in a really bad car accident on my way to work.  I was driving on I15.  I will spare you the details and just say that before the accident I was driving in the far right lane headed north.  When the accident was over I was in the far left shoulder, facing south.  Thankfully other than some major muscle pain/back spasms I was fine.  Our car, which we had owned for less than a month, was just a few hundred dollars shy of being totaled.  It was a ridiculously scary event, and it has totally changed the way I drive, and the kind of passenger I am.  I do not ever sleep in the car anymore as a passenger, I rarely speed by more than 5 miles per hour, and I always take back roads whenever possible.

Spiders/rodents are pretty self explanitory.  No one really likes those things...but they petrify me.  I had a really bad spider bite when I was a camp counselor in Michigan.  It was SO painful and required a trip to the E.R., a shot, and a round of steroids.  Also, one time a momma spider hatched her egg sack in our apartment in Provo, and I STILL have nightmares about the millions of tiny spiders that covered our bathroom ceiling.  Same goes for all rodents...mice, bugs, anything like that.  It makes me want to pee my pants and scream like a little girl.

That's all for now.  I am going to try to start writing more frequently again...and there are a few things weighing on my mind, so hopefully I will have something worthwhile to write about.  Good night.