Growing Up

 (Photo by my brother Matt)

 Here is the thing.  Aubrey isn't the only one making progress around here these days.  I am too.  Yeah, that's right.  I am going to toot my own horn here for a minute, because I deserve to dang it!

There was a time not so long ago, when I would feel this almost urgent need to explain Aubrey's challenges to people right away.  You see, I was (am) a first time mom.  I am young, and naive, and I couldn't bare the lingering looks, or the questioning glances.  From the cashier at the grocery store to the neighbors, to the librarian.  I just wanted people to know about Aubrey right away, so we could move on.

I remember when we moved into this new ward, I would panic when introducing ourselves to people.  It was so dumb.  I wanted to say "There is an explanation for why our daughter can't walk, or talk, and still drools like a baby!"

But why?

I'll tell you why.  Because aside from being immature and naive, I was (am) also insecure.  I was unsure of myself as a mother, and being that this is my first time and all...well, I just wanted people to be understanding I guess.  But I also felt the need to explain things as a method of protecting Aubrey.  I felt that if someone knew up front that she has some challenges, that they would be nicer to her.

But that's the funny thing about motherhood.  You learn as you go!  WHO KNEW?!

So, things are different now.  I make an effort to let people meet Aubrey for who she is first before I explain anything about her challenges.  If they have questions I am more than happy to explain, but I try to make sure that I don't have those conversations in front of Aubrey.  She understands so much of what we say, and I never want her to feel that she is anything but wonderful and perfect.

The same thing goes with kids who meet Aubrey for the first time.  Aubrey will always greet another child (even one she doesn't know) with a big hug and kiss.  We try to teach her the right way to say hello, but what can I do?  She's a lover...and that really is just her way.  But the thing about kids is, they aren't afraid to ask right off the bat.  Why does she make funny sounds?  Why is there drool coming out of her mouth.  Why does she walk funny?  We have had all of these questions plus more from all kinds of kids.  We explain very simply and quickly and then leave it at that.  And so far, most of the children in Aubrey's life don't care that she is different.  She is just Aubrey!

Now, everywhere we go, Aubrey is adored for simply being who she is.  There are several checkers at Walmart who will comment "I remember you, with your curly hair and pretty blue eyes!" when we go through their lanes.  The first time I went to Target without Aubrey while she was at preschool, the chashier said to me "Aren't you the one with the pretty blue eyed daughter?"  And just today at church another woman said to me that she couldn't keep her eyes off of Aubrey during sacrament meeting because "There's just something special about that girl."

The most wonderful result that has come from not caring to explain Aubrey's "differences" or "special needs", is that I too have had the opportunity to see Aubrey, as if for the first time, through other eyes.  Sure, people notice the differences.  But they also see the light in her eyes, and feel the love that radiates from her.  It is undeniable.

So, who knew that while I have been so worried about how Aubrey is learning and growing, that I have been learning and growing right alongside her.  It seems that we will have a lot to teach each other over the years.