I don't know about you, but having friends (at least one good girlfriend) is pretty important to me. You know, someone to help break up the day when you're all out of itsy-bitsy-spiders and e-i-e-i-O's. Someone to listen patiently while you cry about the woe's of young motherhood. Someone to shop with, who isn't afraid to tell you that the dress you just picked up looks like something her 12 year-old sister would wear (wink, wink).
But I've got to tell ya, I am not as good at making friends as I once was. It's the weirdest thing! It's like all of a sudden I've become this shy, self-conscious weirdo! What's up with that? Maybe it's because I'm thinking about things too much instead of just letting friendship come naturally. Maybe I've spent too much time reading lately, that I've forgotten how to socialize. Maybe I'm just out of practice.
Either way...I'm ready to start making some new friends (did you hear that, Lord?). We've been here for a month. I've gotten our house put together, and gotten comfortable with the area. I'm ready. And a little scared. Just a smidge.
But, as you know, it's the year of no fear!
So I joined the neighborhood book club, read a fantastic book, and went to the meeting tonight. It was interesting. I didn't have the best experience, and I'm not thrilled with the way the club is organized, but I think I'll go again next month. And tomorrow I'll be taking Bree to "Mommy and Me: Music Time". So, at least I can't say I'm not trying!
8 comments:
I don't know what it up with that but I have become the same way too. Justin and I were talking about it the other day and I was like, "I really did used to be really outgoing and all, what happened to me?". I'm glad to know it's happened to someone else as well! Good luck in the friend making - with time it will come. That's what happened to me, I just needed a little patience.
I know how you feel. I've been in Lehi for a year now and I still don't have any friends that I would go over to their house and just talk. I feel really comfortable at church and love going to relief society events, but I haven't made any close friends. I think a big part of it is because I don't have any children and most everyone my age does. The other reason is probably because this feels like a very temporary place and I haven't invested much time in it. Just put yourself out there and it will happen. From what I remember, you're awesome at making friends. It's just a little bit harder when everyone isn't living really close together and in the exact life situation. You can do it.
Trying is the most important thing. Especially so you can tell your conscience ... 'at least I'm trying!' Which helps to not give up. Moving is such a fun adventure because it forces you to get out and learn more about yourself. I think it is harder to make friends when we're older because we are not in as many 'forced' situations.... like school (etc.) So it takes more of an effort and it is so much more awkward! It's hard to try without seeming desperate! Anyways... I am going through this right now too, so I think that is why I seem to have so much to say on the subject ;) It is so much more rewarding when you do find a friend! (I finally found one... Yay!!!)
Hey! What a great post! Goes right along with the email I just sent you! But I have to say, I think the set up we have as students really allows for making fast friends, and maybe that's not the case so much in other areas. There is a lot more diversity "out there" and I'm guessing that can be a little daunting. But, you're doing something, and that's a great start! Plus (cue the sappy music) you've always got good friends not too far away... I know it's not the same but it's something, right?
You don't need to make new friends...just rekindle the lost relationships from past years! HINT HINT! Susan
yep, I think it's something that just gets harder as you get older, because everyone has so much more going on that you really have to "plan" for friends. Harder to coordinate schedules, harder to meet people when you're in a house rather than an apartment, etc. It's also harder because the people who surround you don't necessarily have the same interests (majoring in the same thing, husbands in school, children the same age).
What I've found in the 2 years we've lived here is that I don't have as many close friends, but I have far more friends in general. I miss having one or two BEST friends that I could talk to or do anything with, but I've learned now that I can have my exercise buddy, my library friends, my playgroup friends, my date night friends, etc. I have much more variety now in my friendships and I'm friends with women who are much older than me, or in a totally different life zone, etc. It's neat. I'm learning a lot. I'm also developing stronger relationships with my children, my husband, my parents, and my sisters, since some of the emotional needs I have are being met by them now instead of my friends.
Good for you for getting out there and trying! Don't worry, it's not just you-I know A LOT of young moms who get like that when they have kids (myself included). You're too much fun not to find friends!
Making friends is so hard once you're married, then have kids. My sister once said that it reminds her of dating. 'should I call her? will she think i'm weird? does she like me? Am I annoying her?' hahaha it's sad but true.
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