Naptime Writing

Charlie is napping and normally this is my time to read a book, or catch up on my favorite shows while I eat lunch.  Today I am just thinking thinking thinking.  So I thought I would write a stream of consciousness post.

-Last night I went to a parents night at Aubrey's school.  LeeAnn Taylor, the author of the book The Fragile Face of God was the guest speaker. LeeAnn has five children, and three of them have the genetic disease Fragile X syndrome and autism.  The flier hung on my refrigerator for days and I kept saying, "I'm not going to that."  And then the day before I decided I should go.  If nothing else it would get me out of bedtime duties.  There was only a small group of us, but it was perfect.  LeeAnn shared her stories with us.  We laughed, and wept, and nodded our heads in understanding.  We hugged each other.  No one else really knows.  No one else really understands, except other mothers and fathers who are raising children like yours.  It is so validating and important to make connections with these people.  Every time I walk into Aubrey's school, I feel at home.  Those people know me without having to really know me.  It feels safe.

-Charlie is exploding with knowledge.  He repeats everything I say.  A sponge, is what he is.  Oh, but he and I are in a tough patch right now.  He has reverted to his horrible sleeping habits, screaming for hours at bedtime, needing me to sit by his crib and rub his back while he falls asleep...and then slowly crawl out when I think he's out.  Then he wakes up in the night and the process starts all over.  It goes on and on.  Nap time is a little easier.  But he just wants to be with me, near me, touching me at all times.  All day long he follows me around the house saying "Catch you!  Catch you!"  I know I should just give in, because this time of him wanting to always be with me isn't permanent...but it is exhausting.  By the time he (finally) goes to bed at night, I feel like I can't handle one more second of human contact.  Which is a real treat for my husband!

-Aubrey is sweet.  Is there a better word to describe her?  I can't think of one.  Lately I've been thinking about her spirit.  I've been thinking about how her body and mind are not in perfect working order, but that her spirit is.  Her spirit is whole, I know it, and it is serving a purpose.

-I'm going through some transitions in my life.  Things that maybe should be scary or stressful.  But I am feeling really peaceful and calm and blessed.  Please, God...don't take that as an opportunity to turn my life upside down.  *Knock on wood*

-Matt and I took a road trip to Idaho for an Avett Brothers concert.  It was so much fun.  Matt and I are really very different.  So I love to spend time with him doing things that we both really love.  No matter what, Matt is really good company.  I think we're really lucky to have each other.

Charlie just woke up.  Time to get back to reality.