Finding my happy.

 Normally summertime = fun time, but that has not been the case for us this year.  Between packing, moving, fixing up the new house (which really is NEVER ending), a case of shingles, and becoming weekend warriors with our new yard...there really hasn't been too much time for fun.  And Matt used a lot of his personal time to work on the house and move.

So here is a little update on our "new" house.  Before we moved in we (including Matt's whole family and my parents and several friends) tore out all the carpet, painted the whole house (including trim), sanded the stair railing and started painting it, replaced some of the stair rail, laid new carpet, fixed the fence, tore out a dead  tree, pulled out horrendously overgrown rose bushes, had the whole house sprayed for bugs, and cleaned the heck out of this place.  (P.S.  In case we haven't said it enough already...THANK YOU to all you awesome people who helped us with this stuff.  We literally could not have done it without you!)

But like I said...the work just never seems to end.  Since moving in we have fixed the roof, fixed the sprinklers, had new blinds put in, got a water softener, fixed the garage door, had the house sprayed for bugs AGAIN (don't get me started), yadda yadda yadda.  And the yard.  Let's just say that the people who owned this place before us let their huge dogs rule to yard, never sprayed for weeds, and never maintained their sprinkler system.

So anyway.  We're pooped.  We knew what we were getting into when we bought this house...and we got what we asked for.  More space, huge yard, etc.  It's just going to take a really long time to make it what we really want it to be.  But beggars can't be choosers.  We were limited in our options since we didn't sell our town home:)

Anyway, it all has been highly stressful, and overwhelming to say the least.  And for a few weeks I was really struggling.  I don't know how to explain it, except to say that I could not find my happy.  I think I was having an especially hard time because during all of this, Charlie was incredibly difficult.  He just screamed all the time, and was never happy unless I was holding him.  I just felt so stuck, because there was so much to do but I felt completely unproductive because between his need to be held, and inability to nap...I was lucky if I could take a shower and get dinner on the table everyday.

I found myself dissolving into a puddle of tears at the end of every day.  I was really hating the way I was feeling.  Finally I asked Matt for a blessing, because I couldn't go on like that any more.  It was the right thing to do, because I heard everything I needed to hear.  Especially when I was encouraged to see the beauty in every thing around me.  To see good in every one, and everything, and to recognize God's hand in my life.  Everything has changed for me since then.

I have really been enjoying my kids lately.  Charlie is changing so much right now.  And amazingly, now that he can crawl...he is so happy all the time!  I have been consciously making the effort the stop and sit with him, and soak in all of his "baby-ness".  I know it will be over soon...and I will miss it.  Aubrey has been a doll.  She loves to play with Charlie, hold him, hug him, give him toys, and generally be near him.  She is really enjoying the yard, and loves to come outside with us while we are working.

I have really been trying to go back to my social work training, and recall a lot of the parenting techniques that I learned in my old job.  It's amazing how things can change when you make the smallest adjustments in the way we communicate.

I have also started reading again, and now I can't get enough.  It's my favorite thing that I do for myself.  Do you have suggestions for me?  What have you been reading lately?  Leave me a comment!

Also...red lipstick.  It gives me super powers.  Or as Matt likes to say..."Super cute powers".

So, I am looking forward to fall.  Half day Kindergarten will be wonderful, and the cooler weather will be a welcome change for all of us.  But in the meantime, I am enjoying a lot of wonderful, beautiful things everyday.  I think I've found my happy again.