Silence Is Nothing

I am taking a break from Anna Karenina and reading a new book called The Story of Edgar Sawtelle.  I am only on page 55, but so far it is very enjoyable and fascinating.  The protagonist, Edgar, was born completely mute.  The book describes his early months and years from his parents perspective.  Last night I read this passage.

"The doctors shone their lights into him and made their guesses.  But who lived with him morning and evening?  Who set their alarm clock to check him by moonlight?  Who snuck in each morning to find a wide eyed grub peering up from the crib, skin translucent as onion paper?  The doctors made their guesses, but every day Trudy and Gar saw proof of normalcy and strangeness and drew their own conclusions.  And all infants need the same simple things, pup or child, squalling or mute.  They clung to that certainty: for a while at least, it didn't matter what in him was special and what ordinary.  He was alive.  What mattered was that he opened his eyes every single morning.  Compared to that, silence was nothing."

That passage spoke so clearly and deeply to me that I had to wake up a snoring Matt and read it to him...which them prompted a lovely conversation about parenting Aubrey.

Life with Aubrey has been...difficult as of late.  Trying might be a better word.  Matt and I have both been struggling to understand our girl, what she needs, what she understands or doesn't understand, what she can really do versus what is simply learned behavior.  Wondering what our expectations should be for her behavior, progress, and future.  Out of desperation we even scheduled another appointment with the neurologist hoping there may be some path we may have missed along the way...grasping for any answers we can get.

But I read that passage and had a very timely and needed reminder.  All children need the same things.  Love, attention, play, nourishment, stimulation, discipline, and patience to name a few.  It doesn't really matter what in Aubrey is special and what is ordinary.  Whether she can talk or not, and why...those are just details.  What matters is that she opens her eyes every morning, that she smiles and laughs every day.  And "Compared to that, silence is nothing."