(Irrelevant picture...but oh so cute)A few nights ago I sat down to write a post of Thanksgiving. My intent was to count my blessings, because that is what we are supposed to do this time of year, after all. So I sat, and thought, and sat, and thought. And for the life of me I couldn't come up with anything. Which is ridiculous, for sure, because could I be more blessed? Doubtful. And even if I could, I certainly wouldn't deserve it.
You see, my problem was not the lack of blessings. No, no. It was a lack of gratitude. Real, honest, sincere gratitude. And that made me so sad. So I called my brother for a talk and a cry. And then afterward I had a nice long prayer and another long cry.
Man, it felt good to do that.
And since then I have come to realize that my inability to feel gratitude was the result of so much time feeling sorry for myself and my trials. Too much time wrapped up in a cocoon of frustration, self-doubt, and jealousy. Too much time seeing all that is wrong, and not enough time seeing all that is completely right. And there is so much that is completely right.
When I woke up this morning, my heart felt full and warm. The gratitude was back. And all day I have been able to see clearly. Not only is Heavenly Father helping me to feel gratitude for my blessings, both great and small, but he is also helping me to see and feel grateful for the blessings I haven't even received yet.
And so, I am thankful.
For a loving Heavenly father, who allows us to know sorrow so that we can fully appreciate the joy.
For a husband who loves me fully and completely, stands by me, helps me to be a better person, and gives of himself in every possible way.
For a daughter who challenges me, forces me to grow along with her, and allows me to understand the divinity of my role as a mother.
For parents (both mine and Matt's) who taught us what it means to love each other and our children. Who never stopped being our parents, even when we became parents ourselves.
For family near and far, who are all a part of that community that shaped us into who we are, who love us, accept us, laugh with us, and support us.
For all of those things, and more.
And most of all, I am thankful to have gratitude in my heart once more.
You see, my problem was not the lack of blessings. No, no. It was a lack of gratitude. Real, honest, sincere gratitude. And that made me so sad. So I called my brother for a talk and a cry. And then afterward I had a nice long prayer and another long cry.
Man, it felt good to do that.
And since then I have come to realize that my inability to feel gratitude was the result of so much time feeling sorry for myself and my trials. Too much time wrapped up in a cocoon of frustration, self-doubt, and jealousy. Too much time seeing all that is wrong, and not enough time seeing all that is completely right. And there is so much that is completely right.
When I woke up this morning, my heart felt full and warm. The gratitude was back. And all day I have been able to see clearly. Not only is Heavenly Father helping me to feel gratitude for my blessings, both great and small, but he is also helping me to see and feel grateful for the blessings I haven't even received yet.
And so, I am thankful.
For a loving Heavenly father, who allows us to know sorrow so that we can fully appreciate the joy.
For a husband who loves me fully and completely, stands by me, helps me to be a better person, and gives of himself in every possible way.
For a daughter who challenges me, forces me to grow along with her, and allows me to understand the divinity of my role as a mother.
For parents (both mine and Matt's) who taught us what it means to love each other and our children. Who never stopped being our parents, even when we became parents ourselves.
For family near and far, who are all a part of that community that shaped us into who we are, who love us, accept us, laugh with us, and support us.
For all of those things, and more.
And most of all, I am thankful to have gratitude in my heart once more.
6 comments:
That was really beautiful Megan. Thank you for sharing it.
What a beatiful post...and so time appropriate :) Thank you for this.
I love the reminder that there is a difference. Blessings without gratitude for them aren't worth much, are they? Thank you, Megan!
Good post! I think we all need a good kick in the pants now and then of gratitude. And not just once a year. I have been doing my grateful posts, but I don't know if I have felt full gratitude yet. Looks like I have some work to do!!
p.s. you left friends off your list...
Megan,
I was reading my friend Anna's blog (Kika's friend) and came accross your blog. I read your post from Nov. 12 where you mention that you wanted nice pics of your family but you couldn't get any so you were sad about that. This is gonna sound weird since you don't know me at all, but I wanted to volunteer and take pictures for you. Granted I'm no professional, I just love to take pictures as a hobbie. I have been blessed with lots of people around me who provide service and I want to pay it forward. I live by the Riverton area so let me know. You can live me a comment on either one of my blogs.
Patty
Megan, you are awesome and I am grateful to know you and your cute family and to serve with you in the YW! HUGS to you!
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