Insomnia Blogging:)

Right now it is about 12:30 am. My baby has been asleep for hours, my husband has been asleep for hours, and here I am wide awake. I read for a while, I even did the dishes, and I'm still not tired. So I decided to blog! I realized it's been a while since I've written anything about Bree's physical progress. I think that the whole event of seeing the neurologist and fearing there was something wrong with her was so traumatic that I haven't even wanted to talk about it...which is silly because she is doing awesome. It's quite funny really. We took Aubrey to the neurologist on a Monday, and that Wednesday I seriously think she woke up and thought "OK, I'm ready to do this now!" That day she started holding up her head like a pro (previously she could only do it on her tummy, now she would do it all the time). It's been amazing (a miracle really) to watch her improve everyday. She is so much more active now. She rolls both directions, grabs everything she can reach, and I really think she will be sitting unassisted soon. And socially she is also doing well. Aubrey squeaks as a form of communication:) She giggles and smiles when we play peekaboo and blow raspberries on her tummy. And she has started doing this new thing that I really love. When I'm rocking her to put her down for a nap she looks at my face and reaches up and touches it softly while I sing to her. It just makes me melt:) Anyway, the point is that she has made so much progress in the last few weeks, and we feel so blessed.
As I reflect back now on that scary time of uncertainty, it makes me realize the gift it is to love someone so powerfully. Over the past six months I've tried so hard to put words to the feelings that come with being a mother, but it seems impossible. Recently, a friend of mine who doesn't have any children yet asked me what the best part of being a mom is. I told her about a time when I went into Aubrey's room while she was sleeping and just stared at her, and I felt so overwhelmed that I prayed to Heavenly Father and asked him to help me make room in my heart for all the love I have for Aubrey because I didn't know how it would all fit. That is the best way I could think to describe it. How can one person encompass so many feelings of joy, sorrow, protectiveness, worry, nurturing, pride, fear, anticipation, excitement, etc. for one tiny little person, not to mention a husband and other children that come along?!? Yet, somehow the Lord does open our hearts to make room for all of that love, because he loves us so much. I guess that's how my mom was still able to love me even when I was 14, and knew everything there was to know about everything:). That's the great thing about moms...